Do you remember?

Do you remember?

Every day, maybe every damn hour, it was something or maybe nothing. Triggers.
Time passing was just a void, numbness of aloneness remained, uncertainty and fear.

Do you remember?
Images: video style maybe? Frame by frame in vivid color with deafening sound.
You feel it, smell it, see it, taste it and hear the screams.
Just happens. Again and again it is always there.

Do you remember?
Being overwhelmed, got to get away, being so full yet empty.
Night terrors, a pounding heart, soaked sweaty sheets, now wide awake.
Ever wonder why? Did you even sleep? Rest is rare, tired and worn, so used up.

Do you remember?
Invisible darkness stranded, alone, the pain, the frustration.
Feeling and thinking the only way to end it, was to end it.
Desperate, you thought it, planned it, you just don't care.

Well, first responder? Do you?
Do you remember? They do, your family does.
Your Spouse,
Your Children,
siblings, parents, aunts and uncles, cousins all them who knew the real you
They feel your anger
They smell your booze
They see your mask
They hear your screams
They watch in fear and are afraid
They remember. Your family is in this too.
Just like hundreds of first responders and families before you, you are not alone.

That above was me and I am remembering it all. Now I have tools to fight back.
And now I choose to live. WCPR saved my life and my marriage.
There is more work to do, but things are getting better.